what a day~

我当然知道我自己在做什么。
我也很清楚地知道我要的是什么。

也许我变了，我自己也不知道。
时间悄悄带走以前的我。
但，某个部分，我还是我。

对于改变，我没有不喜欢。
我知道我在某方面能变得更好。
我会做到更好。
我知道在远方的他一定是那么想的。
我还是我。一直以来都是。
我没有忘记从前。
我想活好现在。
我更想活好未来。
但，我不会让自己留下遗憾。
这是我。
你认识的我。

你懂的，我执着的是什么。
你一定懂的。

我会改进我该改进的。
我会努力活出未来。
我答应你。

但，我会更努力活好当下。
我不会放弃任何东西。
你看着吧！

他妈的

注：这是一篇发泄文。


他妈的他妈的他妈的他妈的他妈的他妈的他妈的

你是长辈所以我尊敬你。

但是不代表你可以过分！


foong poh yin从新加坡回来。

好。我很乐意空出我的房间给darren.

然后留你家2间空的房间！

再来，你要我去飞机场载她。

你是有问题是吗？

你叫我去载她，然后留你儿子的新cambry在家。

你说“cambry比较危险！！！”

他妈的！要一个完全不懂路的人去载危险还是cambry危险？！

很好，最后有人陪我去。

再来，一餐晚餐。原本没有叫上“你们”。

给你面子叫你去。你就叫了整村的人去！

阿猪阿狗阿猫全部叫叫来。

结果迟到1个小时！！！然后还脸臭臭！！

干！

不用紧！

今天明明是你自己讲载foong poh yin去Sunway的。

结果还他妈的临时晚上改人载！！

他妈的他妈的他妈的。

还有！你儿子结婚就结婚啦！

是干我屁事啊？！

表你个头演！跳你个头舞！唱你个头歌！！！！！

神经病！！

现在人回去了，就拿东西来吵咯。

“阿nong啊，你哪里可以酱没有礼貌的？吃个饭还脸臭臭？！”妈的，是你脸臭还是我脸臭？！我还跟你的孙玩到几开心？！　

“你哪里可以酱自私的？！　叫你载一下也不能？”妈的，明明就是你讲到很大声自己载，结果他妈的在家里摇脚！！是谁比较自私？！



现在你有脾气我是不能有脾气是吗？

明明就很不开心难道要在你面前强颜欢笑吗？


你是长辈所以我尊敬你，我没有顶嘴，我静静。

但是并不代表你可以越来越过分。

不代表你可以当着大庭广众这样数落我。


还有你！我知道你有在看！

失恋就失恋！

搞到全世界要跟你一起失恋一样！

你看看你现在什么样子！妈的！

我认识你4年！你从来都不这种样子！！

我才不管我又没有试过失恋！但是你他妈的就是惹到我了！

半夜三更打来讲一大堆有的没的！最后还自己睡着！！

干！！


一个失恋，一个恋爱！

“好久不见哦！”鬼才要跟你见！

老朋友叙旧还带男朋友~烂！

“我的男朋友啊。。。这样这样这样这样。。。”

“呃~你没有男朋友吗？都几岁了？”

妈的！最近是神经病医院放人是吗？一大堆神经病的人！

你有没有男朋友是关我的事是吗？我才不管你性生活满不满足！

然后不要扯到我的头上！！ｓｈｉｔ


该死的人类！

该死的恐惧感！

该死的考试！

该死的历史！

该死！！！！！

second thoughts

i knew in my heart deeply
this time is not same as before
the pain and the fearness punched through my chest
it cause a deep hole
how much time you need to recover??
i ask myself...
then i realize i couldt get the answer.
i'm sorry
this is the only thing i can say

god hell
again it's a difficult time for me

sometimes even we sure that we will earn the happy ending
but it doesnt come always
second thoughts came out
secret missions sneak out
there's not certain thing in this city
the dark can push you forward to the dark future
or might pull you into a mysterious pass

with enough time eventually,we see what was right in front of us
and realize no matter how long it took
and it's worth to be waiting for
but...
there's for some
the time will never come
the thing that we left
was tears and lonely...

SOS...help

god damn hell it freaks me out...
i dont know who is going to read this...
but im totally freak out to having all of these..
im scared...
once more i cried...
crying hell is totally not a good idea...
i thought i cut just put these away but i could't
i wake up by the nightmares..
and the feel was awful
im scared...

i need someone be with me...

but it's already 1.20am and it's saturday night..
i'm alone with those freaking thoughts
and afraidness....tears of coz....

i need someone...anyone....
i need help...i need talk....
i need get away from these..

i was wondering to kill myself...

greyish?

it's nearly 2am now...
and i am so enough with chinese now...

again
i was wondering about life and reality..
is that both the same?
again....i dont know the answer...
but i know life is part of reality and reality is a perspective of one's view
well...maybe in someway the reality makes your life become misareble
and the things does'nt go your way..

how could the world change to the way it was when so many things had happen??
does the end will be good?
yes i definely hopoe so!

it's about look further or turning back...

those were the great songs or stories that stayed with you that meant something
even we are too ordinary to understand why
those folks in the stories had alot of chances for turning back or just stay still
but they did't
they were holding on something
something in this world that worth to fighting for

you know what?
sometimes i'd feel envy to you
why??
your dreams are clear
and there's easy to reach it
as you just move your ass..
or maybe i still dont understand what makes you still standing there...


life is ain't all about dream there in the states

i know there's alot of greyish black times...

i hope you can just move on
and be what you want to be
and do what you want to do
just a little bit more...................


it's 2.04am and im so tired!!
what the helllllll

thoughts

it was the evening and again i spend like one hour with myself.
it's enough for me i think.
It’s a park that have many stories coming up everyday
and today i played with 2 kids.talking kids stuff.playing kids stuff.
then...at last..
i stood there, watching
and i realized something that i had already forgotten for a long time..
some thoughts came up suddenly.
and it really touched me.


Sometimes in life
there’s really are bonds that can never be broken
Sometimes
you really can find that one person who will stand by your side no matter what
the person might not your beloved
but he/she is more than that
Maybe you found it in the childhood or you just found it
and then celebrated with your dream wedding
But there’s also a chance that the one person you can count on for a life time,
The One person who know you sometimes better than you know yourself
Is the same person who will standing beside you all along

特别给你，你，你还有你。

与自己挣扎了3秒。

决定。

有些事，不需要解释。

明白的人，总会明白。

了解的人，应该懂我。


我在做什么，我自己知道。

也没有必要跟你，你，你，还有你解释。

真的，这让我很火大。


不希望任何人看见，听见 我狼狈的时候。

也许那是我的懦弱。

不想听解释的话随便你们。

不想接电话随便你们。

不回简讯随便你们。

要怎么想随便你们。

要耍小气随便你们。

要装高尚随便你们。


不明白，不想听解释的话就静静！

不要干在那儿讲鸟话！做鸟事！

对~我火大了。



可不可以不要每个都一样？

我说我这样做有我自己的理由。

不明白的人我不奢求你懂。

但至少给我解释的空间。

不要净在那里讲我颓废！

不要一昧的不爽！


神经病！

p.s 我一直以为你是明白的人。